The Original Feisty Lady

Before Julia Marie was even a ball of cells, I knew that I wanted my daughter to be strong and confident. So when it came time to pick a name, I thought of the strongest, most confident, and feistiest women I knew - my grandma and her mother, my great grandma. In retrospect, I probably should have chosen a name more along the lines of "Obedient" or "LovesToSleep." Or maybe "NotAllergic." That one would have been great. 

Great-Grandma Julie lived a few months shy of 100 years. She was the coolest old lady I knew. When I was little, I used to invite the neighborhood kids to my birthday parties, and Great-Grandma Julie too. She always came. She knew how to make me laugh and feel good about myself, and she taught me the importance of speaking one's mind. 

Marie, my father's mother, passed away this week. In my mind, she was a force of nature. She was the feistiest of them all, doing what she wanted and never wasting time worrying what other people might say. She loved her children and her grandchildren and made damn sure they all knew it. And she loved Julia. The day after Julia's birth, she visited us in the hospital. She cradled and burped our little feister, and John and I couldn't stop laughing because she was so much better at it than we were. 

I miss her already. I've been thinking about her a lot, and what I've noticed is that it's hard to think of her and not think of beauty. When I was little, my mom used tell me about how beautiful Marie was in her youth, and that she had even been Miss Massachusetts in her day. My mom also told me that Marie had thrown out her trophy when she lost the national pageant, so every time I went to her apartment, I'd secretly check all the trashcans, hoping to find it and return it to her. She turned heads her entire life, even well into her twilight years. 

Marie loved going abroad, and traveled around the world at any opportunity. And despite her full passport, she had a real knack for saying precisely the wrong thing at exactly the right time. An Indian friend was once asked where he was really from. An Asian friend was told he had a "touch of the Oriental about the eyes." And a Jewish friend of my brother's was infamously told that he looked like he belonged in Hitler's army because he had shaved his head. That was classic Marie. She danced with the groomsmen at our wedding and jumped for the bouquet. And she'd always send you a greeting card with a one-dollar bill inside. It didn't matter if you were turning 12 years old or graduating from Harvard - your dollar was in there, along with a note that said she loved you.

I see so many family members in Julia already. And I see Marie in her, too. It makes me miss her more and helps me miss her less. She was the original feisty lady.


Part of Julia's namesake is also Julia Child, but that's an essay for another day.